A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed.

For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? St. Peter told him that’s bad.

Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No? St. Peter told him that that too was bad.

Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No? St. Peter was becoming concerned.

Exasperated, Peter says, “Look, everybody does something nice sometime. Work with me, I’m trying to help. Now think!”

The man says, “There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hell’s Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her.

I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet. I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face”.

“Wow”, said Peter, “That’s impressive. When did this happen”?

“Oh, about 10 minutes ago”, replied the man.

A wizard joke
Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?
He was going as a banana!

A wizard joke
What do wizards do to get their kicks?
They drool over the pictures in “witch” magazine!

A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard who lies on the floor?
Matt!

A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard who has fallen into the sea on a barrel?
Bob!

A wizard joke
What must a wizard be to receive a state funeral?
Dead!

A wizard joke
What would happen if you threw lots of eggs at a wizard?
He would be egg-sterminated!

A wizard joke
What happened when the wizard turned a boy into a hare?
He’s still rabbiting on about it!