Why did the bull rush?
Because it saw the cow slip!

What kind of bird lays electric eggs?
A battery hen!

What do you call an arctic cow?
An eskimoo!

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick-layer!

How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Build a sty-scraper!

Why does a rooster watch TV?
For hentertainment!

What do you get from a drunk chicken?
Scotch eggs!

What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers!

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a bell?
A bird that has to wring its own neck!

You might be a reneck if…

You live close enough to town to get garbage service, but don’t use it because they won’t come down your driveway to get it.

The fellows on the big garbage moving equipment recoginze your wife…. and wave to her.

Your wife picks thru your garbage cans looking for any bait that may have grown in them since the last time you went.

You have ever removed the 3-9 zoom scope from your deer rifle to use at a KISS concert.

You have more than 2 used pampers rolling around in the back of your truck.

When you put your hunting boots on you only get them on the right feet 50% of the time.

Your idea of a neighborhood watch program is tuning into “America’s Most Wanted”.

You own more than two clappers.

You go to Wal-Mart to people watch.

You recycle enough Copenhagen lids to buy Christmas presents.

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men … and the sheep are scared !!!

Dumb Wyoming Laws
It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs people’s view in a public theater or place of amusement.
It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.
You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.
Cheyenne
Citizens may not take showers on Wednesdays.

A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, “Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?”

“Ever go a fishin’?” the policeman suddenly asked the man.

“Ummm, yeah…” the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, “Did you ever catch ‘em all?”

(Gameshow-announcer voice:) Hello, and welcome to Phone Tag! (Cheers in background.) If you’d like to join the game, please leave your name and number at the beep, and we’ll try to reach you when you’re not around. And thanks once again for playing Phone Tag!