During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried.

After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem.

Workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems. Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air. Under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer.

Yo mama house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.

Yo mama house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.

Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: What’s the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.

Q: What’s the difference between lawyers and buzzards?
A: Lawyers have removable wing tips.

Q: What’s the definition of a lawyer?
A: A mouth with a life support system.

Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
A: No changes occur.

Q: What’s the difference between God and an attorney?
A: God doesn’t think he’s an attorney.

NO ZAMBODIANS, PLEASE: Judge Rules Out Prince Mongo’s Costume

MEMPHIS, Tenn. - A judge has ruled that a defendant can’t show up for trial wearing fur, bones, goggles and pale green body paint, even if he is from the planet Zambodia.

But an attorney for the man who calls himself Prince Mongo wants to make a federal case out of his client’s 10-day jail sentence for contempt of court. Slug PM-Prince Mongo. New, may stand. Federal court hearing starts at 1 p.m. EDT.

Q: How many inner-city gang members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Four–one to rob the liquor store to get money for the bulb, one to drive the getaway car, one to screw it in, and one to hold his crack pipe while he does it.

Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the bulb.

Q: How many ice skaters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw in the bulb, one to hire a hitman on club the other skater on the knee.

Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Who who wants to know?

Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just what exactly do you mean by that?

Q: How many movie actresses does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but you should’ve seen the line outside the producer’s hotel room.

Q: How many movie directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he’s done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better.