Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Kyoto!
Kyoto who?
Kyoto jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Laos!
Laos who?
Laos and found!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Lauren!
Lauren who?
Lauren order!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Laverne!
Laverne who?
Laverne of catastrophe!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Leaf!
Leaf who?
Leaf me alone!

Leave a message or I’ll send 30,000 volts through your phone. I am an electrical engineer. I can do that.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.

Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.”

Bartender:”What is a B and C?”.

Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”

Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.”

Bartender: “What’s a G and T?”

Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”

Blonde: “I’ll have a 15.”

Bartender: “What’s a 15?”

Blonde: “7 and 7″

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Don`t think that you`re thinking. If you think that you’re thinking you only think that you’re thinking.

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

If a train station is where a train stops, what is a workstation?

Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not adoor?

Ever wonder what you call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp?

If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight?

Being rich and it don’t mean so much . Just look at Henry Ford, all those millions and he never owned a Cadillac!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. Wouldnt a good response be to write . . . A Good Doctor!