Archive for January 25th, 2008

Lightbulb joke collection

Friday, January 25th, 2008

Q: How many archaeologists does does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to argue about how old the old one is.

Q: How many preservation society members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, but it takes a year to find an antique Edison light bulb so it’ll be architecturally accurate.

Q: How many aerobics instructors does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Five. Four to do it in perfect synchrony and one to stand there going “To the left, and to the left, and to the left, and to the left, and take it out, and put it down, and pick it up, and put it in, and to the right, and to the right, and to the right, and to the right…”

Q: How many science fiction writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to say, “In 1876, Jules Verne had the first intimations that electrostatic power was a viable energy alternative. Hitherto, the only sources …”

Q: How many science fiction writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two, but it’s actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one’s shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, lightbulb, changer and all was blown out of existence. They co-existed in a parallel universe, though.

Q: How many signal processing engineers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to Fouriev transform the lightbulb, one to apply a complex exponential rotational shifting operator, and one to inverse transform the removed lightbulb.

Q: How many aerospace engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, you know.

Q: How many Einsteins does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That depends on the speed of the changer, and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. Then it just might be easier to leave the bulb alone and change the room. It’s all relative.

Wrong place wrong time

Friday, January 25th, 2008

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

Rory Johnson, 29, was arrested in May for a liquor store robbery in Elkhart, Ind. Johnson had parked in the back of the store to facilitate his getaway but had trouble exiting because of congestion due to road construction. Five minutes after the robbery, he was sitting in his car, having moved only a few feet, and liquor store employees pointed him out to police.