Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can’t come to the phone right now. He’s either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Leave your name and number after the beep and he will return your call.
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign for a litter of dachshund pups: “Get a `long` little doggie!”
Sign in a cafeteria: “Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want.”
Sign on a music library’s door: “Bach in a minuet.”
Sign in a restaurant window: “T-bone steak $1 Then, in fine print underneath: With meat $12″
A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: “Today’s special. Below it says: So’s tomorrow.”
Sign on restaurant window: “Great food (50,000 flies can’t be wrong).”
Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
Sign in a Maine restaurant: “Open 7 days a week and weekends.”
Sign in school: “In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended.”
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign at a hotel. “Help! We need inn-experienced people.”
Sign in a science teacher’s room: “If it moves, it’s biology. If it stinks, it’s chemistry. If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.”
Sign in butchers window: “Pleased to meat you.”
Sign on auto body shop: “May we have the next dents?”
Sign at the dry cleaner’s window: “Drop your pants here.”
Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: “Reserved for plant manager.”
Sign in an Acapulco Hotel: “The manager has personally passed all the water served here.”
Sign in a Norwegian lounge: “Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.”
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: “Please do not disturb further.”
It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
Clark County
An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the police may prosecute you at that time.
Elko
Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.
Eureka
Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
Nyala
A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.
One Day Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window.
Well, Stupid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police station. When they got there the chief asked them their names.
“Shut Up”, replied Shut Up.
“Stupid”, replied Stupid.
The police chief thought these people were telling him to shut up, and were calling him stupid. Which made him very mad. “Excuse Me!” shouted the chief.
Thinking the chief was hard of hearing, They once again shouted there names.
“Shut Up!”
“Stupid!”
The police chief was very riled. He then asked” Are you looking for trouble?”!!!
Stunned at the idea of the chief knowing that they were looking for their friend, they replied,”Why yes, how did you know?”
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes … And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Dumb Minnesota Laws
A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
It is illegal to sleep naked.
All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.
All bathtubs must have feet.
Hibbing
It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer to enforce the provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running at large, or which is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall be the duty of any policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat.
Minneapolis
Red cars can not drive down Lake Street
St. Cloud
Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
Virginia
You’re not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street.