A cannibal joke
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian!

A cannibal joke
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary’s ear?
He had his first taste of Christianity!

A ghost joke
When can’t you bury people who live opposite a graveyard?
When they’re not dead!

A ghost joke
How did the glamorous ghoul earn her living?
She was a cover ghoul!

A ghost joke
What do you call a prehistoric ghost?
A terror-dactyl!

A ghost joke
How do you know that you are talking to a undertaker?
By his grave manner!

A demon joke
What is a devils picket line called?
A demonstration!

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!”

If it’s true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”

“We’re short-handed, Smith” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”

“Thanks, boss,” says Smith “I knew I could count on you!”

A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief explaining that he did stop.

After several minutes, the cop explained to the gentleman that he didn’t stop, he just slowed down a little.

The gentleman said ‘Stop or slow down, what’s the difference?’.

The cop pulled the guy out of the car and hit him with a nightstick for about a minute and then said, ‘Would you like for me to stop or just slow down?’