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Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.

Q: How many MP’s does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it’s done.

Q: How many Tory MP’s does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I’m sorry I can’t tell you that, the light bulb changing service has been privatised and the information you require is commercially sensitive.

Q: How many Thatcherites does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. It’s up to the private sector to provide the finance for it.

Q: How many John Majors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to not do anything about it and one to try and blame the failure of the old bulb on the Labour party who put the original bulb in place 17 years ago.

Q: How many Home Secretaries does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - they merely sack someone else for letting it go out.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Kendall!
Kendall who?
Kendall and Barbie go together!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Kenneth!
Kenneth who?
Kenneth little kids play with you!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Kent!
Kent who?
Kent you tell who it is?

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Kentucky!
Kentucky who?
Kentucky too well, have a sore throat!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Kenya!
Kenya who?
Kenya guess who is it?

Gold’s Law: If the shoe fits, it’s ugly

Goldenstern’s Rules: 1. Always hire a rich attorney. 2. Never buy from a rich salesman.

Golden Rule Of Arts And Sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Gordian Maxim: If a string has one end, it has another.

Gordon’s First Law: If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.

Gordon’s Object Lifespan Theorem: No matter the amount of care given the purchased object, it will fuse/explode/disassemble within three days of warranty expiration.

Gordon’s Warranty Law: All warranty clauses expires upon bill payment.