Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Chuck!
Chuck who?
Chuck and see if the door is locked!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Chuck!
Chuck who?
Chuck in a sandwich for lunch!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Cicero!
Cicero who?
Cicero the boat ashore!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Cigarette!
Cigarette who?
Cigarette life if you don’t weaken!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Clara!
Clara who?
Clara space on the table!

It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.

A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.

Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.

One-armed piano players must perform for free.

Dubuque
Any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building.

Indianola
The “Ice Cream Man” and his truck are banned.

Fort Madison
The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.

Marshalltown
Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants

Ottumwa
Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.

In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a 32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were arrested after a food fight in a grocery store. After arguing loudly, the couple began throwing sweet potatoes at each other. Eventually, the man allegedly threw the woman into several vegetable racks, sending the contents spilling to the floor. As both continued to brawl on the floor, she allegedly stuffed lettuce into the man’s mouth.

A witch joke
What’s yellow and very poisonous?
Witch infested custard!

A witch joke
Why did the witch buy two tickets to the zoo?
One to get in and one to get out!

A witch joke
What do you call a wich made of cotton and has lots of holes in her?
A string hag!

A witch joke
What happened to the naughtly little witch at school?
She was ex-spelled!

A witch joke
What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?
Run!

A witch joke
Where do witches keep their purses?
In hag bags!

A witch joke
What is the favorite subject of young witches at school?
Spelling!

A prominent lawyer’s son dreamed of following in his father’s footsteps. After graduating from college and law school with honors, he returned home to join his father’s firm, intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney.

At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father’s office, and said, “Father, father! The Smith case, that you always said would go on forever — the one you have been toiling on for ten years — in one single day, I settled that case and saved the client a fortune!”

His father frowned, and scolded his son, “I did not say that it would go on forever, son. I said that it could go on forever. When you saw me toiling on that case for days and weeks at a time, didn’t it ever occur to you that I was billing by the hour?”

Ten Signs The Police Chief Hates You

10. He sends you on drug raids….alone.

9. He refers to you as “Our Little Mascot.”

8. The job description in your contract includes “crash test dummy” and “pepper-spray test subject.”

7. Instead of a gun, you were issued a water pistol.

6. He always tells you that only wimps call for back-up.

5. He lied to you about an “officer exchange program” and put you on a plane to Siberia.

4. He doesn’t like to be seen with you in public.

3. He makes up “missing persons” and then sends you to look for them.

2. You always get the patrol car with the flat tire, no gas, a dead battery, and a broken air conditioner.

1. Your locker is also the broom closet!!

These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world.

“That race was all about competition.” - David Coleman, ITV

“And I can see the strong wind blowing the sun towards us.” - Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3

Mark Goodier: What’s the name of the company you work for?

Listener: Mining and Engineering Services. Mark Goodier: So, what kind of work do they do; is it mining and

engineering services? - BBC Radio 1

“Marling - unbeaten in her three victories.”

Peter O’Sullivan, BBC2 TV: “Both drivers are fundamentally wearing white helmets.”

James Hunt, BBC2 TV: “A church spire nestling among the trees…there’s probably a church there too.” - Richie Benaud, BBC2 TV