Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Barbara!
Barbara who?
Barbara black sheep, have you any wool…!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bea!
Bea who?
Beatle Bailey!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bean!
Bean who?
Bean fishing lately?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Beethoven!
Beethoven who?
Beethoven is too hot!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Beets!
Beets who?
Beets me!
Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?
Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting many.
Then, he discovered the problem; a 10 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read, “SPEED TRAP AHEAD”.
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign painted “TIPS” and a bucket of change.
Q: How do you know if you cat’s got a bad cold?
A: He has cat-arrh!
Q: What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!
Q: How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
A: They never cry over spilt milk!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
A: An animal that puts you out a night!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo?
A: A stripey jumper!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A: A sourpuss!
Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes!
A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.
John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.
Q: How many members of the Impossible Missions Force does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five: While Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing a skimpy dress, I use a tiny narcotic dart to knock out the fascist dictator and remove his body. Rollin, wearing a plastic mask, masquerades as the dictator long enough for Barney to sneak up to the next floor, drill a hole down into the light fixture, remove the burned-out bulb, and replace it with a new super-high wattage model of his own design. Meanwhile, Willie has driven up to the door in a laundry truck. Just before Rollin’s real identity is revealed, we escape to the laundry truck, drive to the airfield, and return to the United States.
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Zero. We have the housekeeping staff do it for us.
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Please let us know!
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That depends; what color is the bulb?
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It all depends on whether they can read the manuals or not. That needs to be in there somewhere as a qualifier!